Irony

In my last post, I seem to remember saying "barring any funny business, there isn't much they can do, say or suggest that will send me running." I guess I was wrong.

Yesterday, an e-mail came through from IF saying they didn't feel they were going to be financially prepared within the time frame we had decided on. I know surrogacy doesn't always go as planned, but the thing is that we weren't planning to start until February. Having met them in August, I was certain planning so far out would allow ample time to get our preliminary hoops jumped and leave plenty of padding in case things didn't go as planned. The indication was that starting in late spring or early summer would be better for them. As much as I adore this couple, I just felt I couldn't commit to a journey so far in advance -- so much can change in six months, not to mention there could be further delays, and I just don't want to spend that much time growing more and more attached only to potentially never begin our journey.

We've talked since and their aren't any hard feelings; we're both just aching because we want this to work so badly. They simply don't feel comfortable that any and all what-ifs could be covered, and while all of my fees have been negotiable, the one area  I can't compromise is on the unexpected.

As much as I dread starting over, I want so badly to do this and I think it's still possible to make it happen on my February time line. If, by chance, we're both still waiting, I'd still LOVE the opportunity to work with R&I but at this point it seems we're going our separate ways.

I put an ad back up on SMO and reactivated my profile on a few other surrogacy sites. I've been browsing but thus far everyone seems...not good enough in comparison. I also applied to an agency -- Surrogacy Dreams -- as a TS, and they indicated they will be contacting me within 48 hours.

Until next time.