He Said Yes

I guess this means I'm matched!

The Hubby and I got to have a long talk about surrogacy in general, PIPs, our fears, our excitement, obstacles we may encounter and how we will handle them, and it went really great.

For a while, Hubby said he was OK with this, but every time I tried to talk about it he changed the subject. Last night he might have even seemed excited. When I told him our PIPs (or should I be calling them my IPs now?!) had asked me to carry for them, it was like a floodgate opened and he wanted to know everything about them.

He expressed his concern for me again, and said he can't help but brace for the worst. What if I still don't get the birth I want? What if there are complications? He fears not only about how this will affect me, but how it will affect our whole family. He said that while it seems noble, it scares him that I'm not doing this for money -- that if asked he knows me well enough that I would do it for free -- and that I have so much hope riding on a great birth experience. Hearing him express this really made me take to heart how important it is for me to maintain a sense of normalcy in my own home without making life revolve around the family I'm helping to create. Of course I've considered that I still may not get the birth I dream of, and I'm OK with that. After having spent time with PIPs, I really see them becoming like family to us and I can't imagine being disappointed in myself when they go home with a baby in their arms.

I told him I needed him to be completely open an honest. No burying feelings. I'm not willing to strain our relationship to help someone else's so I need to know that he not only supports me, but feels I'm making the right decision for our family. He reassured me that he had really thought this through and would absolutely tell me if he wasn't 100% behind me.

It was overall a really great chat -- we should do this more often!