Why Home?

If someone had asked me three years ago whether I was having a home birth or hospital birth, I probably would have called them looney toons and asked why they assumed I was a hippie. In fact, when I was pregnant with Bear and C panicked when I told him I wanted to use a midwife because he thought MW=home birth, I laughed at him and said, "definitely not -- I would never do that!" I had never known anyone to birth at home, and it never even crossed my mind that this was a reasonable option -- of course this is true of several other parenting decisions we've made like extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing and child-led weaning (hey, maybe I am a little crunchy after all?).

The further into my pregnancy I got, the more I began to open up to the idea, but because I had a fabulous group of hospital midwives it seemed silly to consider switching. C was more comfortable with a hospital birth, and lets face it, we were nervous nelly's as first-time parents.

When it came time to have Bear, my midwives let me down. What I learned from the whole deal is that while hospital midwives have great intentions to bringing birth back to a woman-centered, natural experience, they operate under the radar of obstetricians, and ultimately, are very medically minded just like an OB. Because they aren't doctors, they don't call the shots in the hospital and they really don't push back much. Looking back, while I liked my midwives very much, their model of care was not in line with the midwifery model of care at all.

In coping with my birth disappointment, I found my biggest frustrations stemmed from the fact that no one ever asked me what I wanted. I was never given any options or told that there was a possibility my baby was fine. I was treated as if I had a condition, rather than being offered suggestions for helping increase the fluid levels or getting a second opinion. When it came down to it, all the things I felt were missing were present in the midwifery model of care practiced by home birth midwives.

The stereotypes lead people to believe the practice is unsafe and barbaric. It may be barbaric, but it works and statistically home birth is just as safe, if not safer, for low-risk pregnancies. Childbirth is a natural, normal process. Women who birth at home have less complications and fewer instances of stalled labor. While I understand why home birth isn't for everyone, I also believe more women would choose it if they had unbiased facts and the resources to do so.

In surrogacy this presents an interesting dynamic, but overall I think home birth is a great option because it allows the IPs and surro privacy and a more intimate experience with people who know and understand their situation. At home, IPs may get to be more involved than they would in a crowded hospital room. Everyone can have their own space without wondering what's happening, they can spread out and relax and still be within ears reach. Spouses don't feel out of place or in the way because it is their own home.

One of the first resources I recommended to potential IPs who were unfamiliar with home birth was The Business of Being Born. It's a documentary produced by Ricki Lake of all people, but I think it sheds a positive light on home birth while acknowledging that some situations still warrant the care of an OB. Its great for introducing newbies to the idea and gently drawing them in.

The burning question hesitant parents always ask is "is it safe?", and it is. While there are plenty of benefits to be boasted from having more direct one-on-one care and being in a place you feel safe and unjudged, it really comes down to interventions. Too often pregnancy interventions are done prematurely. One intervention leads to the next, and if there's anything we know about childbirth it's that baby will come when s/he is ready. These statistics are from one of the best known and most credible studies on home birth. What I love most about them is down at the bottom where it says only 1.7% of home birth mother would choose another type of care for subsequent pregnancies. It may be a small percentage of us who do it, but those who do are happy with their decision. What I wouldn't give to have not had to learn to forgive myself for the way my daughter was brought into this world. Home birth isn't the only option, but it certainly is one worth researching.

Find a midwife. None in your area? Don't worry, they still exist they are just harder to find. Try asking a Le Leche League leader, checking your local ICAN group, find your tribe on mothering.com or ask doulas in your area if they have any recommendations.

Other great home birth resources:

6 myths about home birth exposed
Midwife model of care
Can I have a home birth?
Ina May on why home birth is necessary.
Birthing From Within - this book was my bible during pregnancy and as I prepared for my cesarean.
Natural childbirth tips from Mothers Naturally

Happy Birthing!